In our society we tend to look for scapegoats; people, places and things to blame. One of our biggest challenges is responsibility. We need to take responsibility for our own choices and the consequences of those decisions.
It is all my mother's fault! It is, it is my mother's fault! There is no other single person who was granted more influence over my development. She is not a perfect being, therefore neither am I. She molded me from the blank clay I was at birth into who I am now. [That is if you believe in the clean slate theory.]
All my issues are my mother's fault. Then it stands to reason that all my triumphs are hers also.
I attended a talk recently about the Divine Mother. The first question the speaker asked was: On a scale of 1 to 10, 1 being not at all, 10 being fully, How much have you forgiven your mother?
Forgiven my mother? I spent the last fourteen years learning to understand my mom's motivations. Learning to communicate with her more effectively. Learning to be grateful and appreciate her and all that she has done for me.
I have realized that I have benefited from all my mother's 'shortcomings', that all her so-called mistakes have made me a stronger, more sensitive individual. The things that I resented her for, I now realize were gifts she gave me.
We lay so much at the feet of our parents; blame, responsibility, guilt. If we were to change our perspective and try to understand rather than blame, if we were to take responsibility for our decisions, we would be much healthier individuals.
We choose our parents with all their faults to best play out our Karma and help us grow. Look to your parents for the answers. How did they shape you? What can you take from them? It is your choice.
Regardless of our background as we approach adulthood we have choices to make. Choices about who we are to become, how we will behave, who and what we will follow. We continue to evolve throughout our lives. It is never too late to make a different choice, to change our course. It is up to you.